If I Tried
by Elaine Vivian
Summary: Barney Peanuts grew up in the circus and decides to visit his old family when the circus comes to New York. He might have been there to see his parents, but an old friend adds to good time.


**_*A/N: Jack Scott sang "Beyond the Sea" at the understudy concert, and then I just had some Jack Scott feels, so I decided to write about his character. Here you go!_**

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The young man stood surrounded by animals in cages and people readying themselves for their acts, and suddenly he was a boy again. He was back with the performers he'd always dreamed of becoming. His mother and father were slender people, long and flexible and graceful. _The Amazing O' Shea's Agile Acrobatic Act_, that's what his parents' act was called. And they were amazing, all right. They'd taught him so well that he could probably do almost everything they could, even if he was a bit rusty.

But he was just a boy when he traveled with the circus. He'd sold peanuts to eager and excited audience members. He first became known as "The Peanut Boy," and then later it was changed to include his Christian name. Barney Peanuts was his name now, even though he no longer worked for the circus.

He'd waited a long time for the circus to come back to New York City. He didn't have the money to visit them anywhere else, and it was the only chance he got to see his old family—whether he was actually related to them or not.

The older he got, the less he came for his parents and the more he came for the ringmaster's daughter, Delia Dover. Neither of their parents knew about what was between them, and they were happy to keep it that way. Mr. Dover would not be keen on hearing that his star acrobats' son was courting his daughter, and Barney did not want to put his parents in a situation like that.

The last time the circus was in town, she'd given him a small picture frame with her portrait in it. It was how he remembered what she looked like. He'd look at it anytime he caught a moment to himself, studying her features and wondering how much she'd have changed by the next time he'd see her.

She was small and agile, a dancer-and-acrobat, much like his mother. She had shiny black ringlets down to her waist, though they were often pinned up during the show. She had large eyes that always seemed to be smiling in a way that made you feel like you shared a secret. Her lips curved up in a smile that was just enough to let you know that she thought you were pleasant company, but not so wide as to seem thoroughly entertained. She was so mysterious to him, like some sort of sly and clever garden fairy.

Barney let his eyes roam around the tent, recognizing his old family. He saw his parents' trunk by a small vanity that was carried around with the rest of the performers' necessary things when it needed to be moved. And right next to his parents' vanity, he saw a slim young woman applying a last bit of rouge to her cheeks and pinning up her black-as-night hair so that it couldn't possibly fall out.

He walked quietly up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, startling her. "I think you missed a bit, Miss Delia," he murmured, taking a lock of hair and tucking it in with the rest.

She smiled at their reflections in the mirror. "I thought you'd forgotten about me, Barney Peanuts," she murmured back. She turned around and stood to embrace him.

He hugged her tightly. "I've missed you, Delia," he whispered into her hair.

"I've missed you, too," she muttered into his chest. She pushed away a bit, taking a step back. "Mustn't ruin my so-carefully painted face, or my so-carefully done hair. It takes an effort to look nice while contorting your body into frightening positions, or don't you remember?"

He gave her a half-smile. "Yeah, I remember. It might have been while but I still got a few tricks up my sleeve."

Suddenly the lights dimmed in the Big Top, which was connected to the performers' tent by a small opening in both tents. "You'll have to show them to me later," she said. "That's my cue to start climbing." She stepped into the arena and began making her way to the ladder she had to climb to make it to the top, but not before giving him a wink and whispering, "Wish me luck."

He went over and stood at the opening, darting his eyes back and forth between her and his parents, who were performing an act of their own. His father was on the tight rope, higher than it usually was; his mother did tumbles and flips over the rope, careful not to disturb in so that his father wouldn't fall off. She was a trapeze artist, and a talented one at that.

Delia was at the top of the ladder now, and she unhooked the satin ribbons from their place on the tent wall. A large spotlight moved onto her, and their was a collective gasp from the audience as she dove down, holding the ribbons that would suspend her. She soared across the tent, flying like a bird. Everything she did surprised the audience as she twisted and turned and positioned herself into poses that had them out of their wits with concern.

The three acrobats went on with their performance for at least another ten minutes, and when they were done they came back into the performers' tent through the small opening, glistening with sweat and radiating an adrenaline-high.

His mother saw him first. "Barney," she breathed, quickly walking up to him and embracing him. "We've missed you so much."

His father embraced them both. "It's good to see you, boy," he mumbled in his way.

Barney and his parents sat and talked for a long while before Barney finally had to leave. "I'm sorry I have to go so soon," he said. "But I've gotta be up early tomorrow to sell papes." He said a bittersweet goodbye to his parents and promised to come by next time they were close enough to the city.

As he exited the tent, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and saw Delia, eyes shining with tears. "Do you really have to go so soon?" she asked. "Do you really have to go at all?"

He looked at her, wearing her poor girl's street clothes, makeup still on her face and hair still done, though now it was mostly down instead of pinned. She looked almost like any other girl you'd find on the streets of New York, and he thought to himself, _a life on the road isn't so different than a life on the streets_. _You never know what you're going to do, what you're going to eat…_

Barney took Delia's hand and pulled her close, pressing her head to his chest and firmly putting his arms around her. "I'm not cut out for this kind of life, Delia. You know that. I live with my aunt because I'm not the kind to move around."

He heard her sniff. "But couldn't you be?" she cried softly into his shirt.

He pushed her back and looked her in the eyes. "Couldn't you be the kind to stay in one place?" he asked her. She almost broke into a sob, but that was the last thing he wanted to happen, so he cupped her cheek and leaned down to kiss her.

Delia threw her arms around his neck, making him stumble backwards, and kissed him right back. And together they stayed like that for the longest moment of their lives, never wanting to let go.

They pulled back from each other after a few minutes of closeness. She smiled up at him, though her eyes were still teary. "I'll send you a telegram from Boston," she murmured. "Just don't forget me, Barney. Please."

He smiled back down at her. "I'll memorize every word. And I wouldn't be able to forget you if I tried, Delia." _Not even if I tried_.


End file.
